We find this to be one of the most repulsive things in the entire world. There’s nothing worse than seeing an empty machine, getting ready to sit down…and then you see a WET SPOT on the black pleather. I can’t. Even.
Category Archives: Activity
Unnecessary Amounts of Water At The Gym
We constantly see the meat monkeys carrying around gigantic JUGS of water and it’s just not necessary. Dudes, if you’re spending so much time at the gym that you actually need to hydrate that much, then you probably have some kind of disorder.
Then again…we don’t want to share a water fountain with you either.
Personal Space At The Gym
Why is it that every time we get on a machine some disgusting juice monkey has to use the machine directly next to us? Even when the gym is EMPTY.
Time Limits At The Gym
Our old gym in New York City had a 30 minute “time limit” during peak gym hours, mainly after work. This is a good thing…BUT when assholes decide to stand behind us, basically tapping their feet, we want to punch them in the face. It’s like hey asshole, I know you’re staring at my machine, which means that you see I have 2:40 seconds left before I stop. Get off me.
Wedgies At The Gym
We can’t really remember the age where our parents explained to us that picking your butt in public is NOT ok. And yet, somehow, certain people think that once you put sweatpants on, all bets are off.
Competitive At The Gym
There’s always one. That one person who gets up all in our business while we’re on the treadmill and decides that when we’re running at 9.4, they’ll run at 9.5. You know what, fuck them.
People Who Don’t Shut The F*ck Up At the Gym
We absolutely can’t stand it when we’re “in the zone,” as some put it, and all you can hear (above your iPod) is two or three bitches like “and then, OMG, he totally never called me! WTF?!” You know why he never called you? Because you’re an annoying asshole that doesn’t know when to stop talking.
Screaming At The Gym
Perhaps the most laughable offense, screaming (aka grunting, groaning, moaning) at the gym is the most common gym complain that I get from readers. Take note, people – you do NOT have to make noise while lifting weights. In fact, it’s super obvious that you just want attention and all eyes on your “big muscles.”
Stupid Dancing At The Gym
As a former dancer, I try to be understanding of this. But there comes a certain point when I want to scream “can’t you just dance in your house?! Or like, in a DANCE studio?!” These assholes take up space and usually look amazingly stupid while doing so. I almost blew a gasket when a girl came into the spin room, started dancing by herself and then started talking about how she is a former Pussycat Doll. OK.
Cleaning The Machines At The Gym
When I first started going to the gym while living in New York City, I noticed a trend. It might have just been the Gramercy NYSC where I was a member but everyone, I repeat everyone, cleaned off their machines after using/sweating all over it.
Los Angeles, for example, a totally different story. How fucking disgusting is that? I mean, you’re running (hopefully) for like 30 minutes and dripping your sweat all over the monitor and hand rest and you don’t even have the decency to take an extra 45 seconds out of your day to wipe your machine down? Fucking animals.
